You’re watching the first Homo denisova to walk the earth in a hundred and fifty centuries grope their way into adolescence.
You haven’t wanted a drink for weeks and you’re not - really, you’re not - falling in love with your co-worker who is the only other Homo sapiens in the entire pine forest.
It’s all peachy until the Denisovans start holding singing contests in which the loser’s head gets bashed in.
Now what the hell do you do?