★ 美國亞馬遜好評5顆星
★ 20世紀福斯買下電影改編版權
獻給不知道自己他馬的在做什麼的大人——
也許你正好跟我一樣:
被癌症痛擊(是我老公啦,喔還有我老爸),
面對人生爛事,帶著鮮活敞開的傷口(順帶一提,我還流產了),
雖然沒那麼簡單,我會盡全力好起來。
存好心,說蠢話,做傻事
成熟大人的對話練習
情境:安慰因為腦瘤開刀而剃光頭髮的男友。
「反正你早晚會禿。」
情境:參加新郎得了腦瘤的婚禮,對新娘的祝福。
「我朋友的老公得了一模一樣的癌症。他死了。」
情境:參加葬禮,對遺孀的關懷。
「不要擔心,妳還年輕。妳會找到其他人的。」
「妳還好嗎?」
「呃,笨蛋,我的老公才剛過世。」
「妳好噁。」
「嗯,好吧,也去你馬的,幹。」
我們旁觀他人的痛苦,束手無策,滿口蠢話。我們自身的悲慟總潛伏在日常生活,冷不防偷襲,成為永遠的傷口。好事壞事就這麼發生,我們有權利邊做邊錯邊學(並且再做再錯再學)。不需憂慮還沒到的未來,當個大人就是在準備好之前就挺身應戰。不用再企圖苦思正確得體的應對,笑出來粗乃也沒關係,哭到淚流內牛滿面也很好。別再質疑自己(畢竟有時候內心的聲音就是個白癡)。
悲劇經歷了時間(與幾打玫瑰紅酒)就會成為喜劇,狀似悲慘的經歷,談起來都帶著點黑色幽默,比如:跟男友約會時他突然痙攣、結果是顆腦瘤、最後發現是腦癌;老公在與腦瘤對抗時,老爸先因癌症末期而離世;在老爸與老公相繼過世之前,還經歷一次流產。
這是本書作者諾拉的真實經歷。但她並非要藉此傳授度過傷痛的秘訣,更非討拍搏取同情。在(很賤的)命運面前, 笑出來也沒關係,哭出來也很好,沒人知道該如何得體合宜面對生命裡的烏煙瘴氣。所以她記錄自己的故事:獲知男友病況的震驚、短暫三年婚姻的滿滿收穫(包括一個兩歲的小男孩雷夫)、瘋癲家庭給予的支持與安慰(偶爾互相傷害)、那些荒謬的安慰(「妳還年輕,會找到其他人的」)……她的故事公諸於眾,她與丈夫亞倫的愛情感動許多讀者,也讓許多人笑到尿褲子(她自己也是)。但在她幽默風趣的肖婆形象下,是誠實犀利的心靈,指出人類的愚蠢古怪,見不得別人受苦掙扎,所以應對時總錯漏百出,甚至逃避面對。她貌似輕鬆掌控全局,同時卻也道出深深的、無人能解的痛苦,以及寂寞的哀慟。
我們的人生都沒有說明書,沒人告訴我們該做些什麼、說些什麼。我們只能走自己的路,並且邊向前走,邊從無到有的製作屬於自己的地圖——這是膽識,也或許是愚蠢盲目。WHO CARES?
天翻地覆過後,我們都會好起來,我們都會他馬的好起來。
Twenty-seven-year-old Nora McInerny Purmort bounced from boyfriend to dopey “boyfriend” until she met Aaron—a charismatic art director and comic-book nerd who once made Nora laugh so hard she pulled a muscle. When Aaron was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer, they refused to let it limit their love. They got engaged on Aaron’s hospital bed and had a baby boy while he was on chemo. In the period that followed, Nora and Aaron packed fifty years of marriage into the three they got, spending their time on what really matters: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, each other, and Beyonce. A few months later, Aaron died in Nora’s arms. The obituary they wrote during Aaron’s hospice care revealing his true identity as Spider-Man touched the nation. With It’s Okay to Laugh, Nora puts a young, fresh twist on the subjects of mortality and resilience. What does it actually mean to live your “one wild and precious life” to the fullest? How can a joyful marriage contain more sickness than health? How do you keep going when life kicks you in the junk? In this deeply felt and deeply funny memoir, Nora gives her readers a true gift—permission to struggle, permission to laugh, permission to tell the truth and know that everything will be okay. It’s Okay to Laugh is a love letter to life, in all its messy glory; it reads like a conversation with a close friend, and leaves a trail of glitter in its wake. This book is for people who have been through some shit. This is for people who aren’t sure if they’re saying or doing the right thing (you’re not, but nobody is). This is for people who had their life turned upside down and just learned to live that way. For people who have laughed at a funeral or cried in a grocery store. This is for everyone who wondered what exactly they’re supposed to be doing with their one wild and precious life. I don’t actually have the answer, but if you find out, will you text me?